For many reasons, my family did not have the chance to get to know my cousin, Sharon, well. We saw her on rare occasions and knew of her mostly through her mother’s recounting of Sharon’s activities.

In truth, I did not expect to get so drawn into Sharon’s life when I flew to Kern County CA to begin the process of tying up Sharon’s life. My siblings and I were her “next of kin,” and I went out of a sense of family responsibility. When I visited Sharon’s home that she loved so much, I found many familiar things, including photos I had never seen of my Grandparents, and of her mother and my father, who were siblings. I found the items Sharon had inherited from her mother, including her mother’s oil paintings. I found stories, letters and poems written by our Grandfather, Sharon’s mother, Sharon, and my parents. I found letters I and my siblings had written, as well, all lovingly saved by Sharon’s mother. I experienced a unique link with Sharon that had not been realized in life. Our roots were the same.

In the past month, I have been twice to Sharon’s home and have been privileged to meet some of her friends and next door neighbors, who have generously extended the friendship they shared with Sharon to me. I have been gratified to read your good words on this memorial blog and I am so glad that Sharon had a life rich with her writings, many interests, and friendships. I feel I am finally getting to know my cousin through her friends and effects and am sorry we did not connect in person, earlier. We would have had fun.

I want to thank all of you for having been there to support Sharon in life and for your warm thoughts about Sharon that will forever memorialize her life. I am hoping to hear from the Coroner’s Office next week on the cause of death and will post that information here. So far, the cause is still unknown, but is “natural,” if one can call death that for someone 57 years old.

Shana Aucsmith
Bellevue WA

I have many memories of Sharon Gilbert, all of them pleasant ones. I taught her when she first came to graduate school here at North Carolina, and I directed her master's thesis on Laurence Sterne. When I knew her here, she lived her life with zest, enthusiasm, intelligence, and a cheerful heart. That may seem common enough for someone in her twenties, but it is rarer than we'd like to think. When I spoke to her again, many, many years later, it soon became evident that all these qualities were as strong as they'd ever been. The combination of great intelligence, a powerful sense of humor and a few decades of hard experience usually produces something wryly ironic at best and subacid at worst. In Sharon's case, almost miraculously, she was as fresh and open-hearted in her fifties as she had been in her twenties, and, if anything, even brighter. She was a rare person, and we cherish her memory.

Thomas A. Stumpf
Associate Professor (emeritus)
UNC-Chapel Hill

From Albrecht Strauss, Sharon Gilbert's professor at UNC:

CONCERNING SHARON GILBERT

Yes, Sharon Gilbert was a remarkable person. As so many in this moving memorial have testified, she was warm-hearted, understanding, gifted, enthusiastic -- a loving and widely beloved woman. What impressed me as much as anything about her, though, was her determination. As her dissertation director at the University of North Carolina, I saw Sharon pick up a study of James Boswell's journals a great many years after having dropped it, plunge into her pioneering critical analysis (having been lost for well over a century, these journals had only recently been recovered) with insight and relish, and wind up with an original, incisive, and beautifully written doctoral dissertation. It took extraordinary courage and will power to return to a seemingly abandoned task after so prolonged an interruption and to bring it to a dazzling conclusion. If ever there was awoman of valor . . .

Marvin Wolf, former IWOSC President, sent me this photo of Sharon at the IWOSC Holiday Party in December 2005. Sharon surrounded by her writer friends:

The last few days, I've been thinking alot about Sharon and her ability to encourage talent and creativity. Then I kept hearing a song we sang when I sang with the Immanuel Community Gospel Choir:

Now let the weeping cease,
Let no one mourn again,
For the love of God
Will bring you peace,
There is no end.

In this blog there is no end to all the good that Sharon inspired. We still feel her excitment when she heard/read our words. We can still hear her words of encouragement. We still feel her love of everything artistic. It lives on, every time we write something that enlightens and beautifies existence.

Write on!
Thank you Sharon.
Good Night and Good Luck

I'm on a deadline today for three news releases, so I won't be posting much.

People have been asking about a service. Everything is on hold for now. We will keep you posted.

Shana who has been a doll taking care of business will be out of town and she has to confer with her family on all major decisions.

In the meantime, this our virtual service to Sharon, who loved seeing things in writing more than anything else.

Good Morning,

It looks like we have most of the people notified after finding Sharon's address file. If you know people who should be notified, please direct them to this blog. Shana contacted the best friend in North Carolina and I recieved an e-mail from a reference who contacted the couple she stayed with at Christmas.

Michelle Band e-mailed, "I'm going to get in touch with the Brooklyn College Alumni Association this week since they do memorials for alumni in their magazine. Sharon always used to be interested in their news and events."

As for me, I'm going to be kind of busy this week, my car is leaking oil and I broke my tooth. I thought, what's this rock doing in my Balance Bar? Later I realized, that's no rock that's my tooth! Which leads me to the great L.A. conundrum, do I need to fix my car or my tooth first?

Lynn Walford

Sharon at a party at Flo Selfman's apartment in July 1978:

From Trish Lester, IWOSC member, Fellow Writer and Singer/Songwriter:

Sharon appeared almost out of nowhere to support my music. I can still see her shining face in the audience at Borders Book Store when I gave a performance there last summer. We were kindred souls, and spent many hours on the phone sharing creative ideas. Her mother had been a talented artist, she told me, and Sharon wanted to find some ways to share the rather large collection of paintings her mother had created and left to her (an online gallery, perhaps?). I'm shocked and saddened at her passing, and I'll miss her.

Today, I received this photo Shana took of Sharon's view above her computer.

The view that inspired the woman who inspired us all.

From Lynn Corum:

Sunday, Feb. 6
I've known Sharon for just over a year, and based on the wonderful comments from her long-time friends, I've missed out on what could have been a much longer and enriching friendship. We saw the latest Harry Potter movie together at Fox on Jan. 14 and talking afterward when I told her I was having an informal reading of two of my short plays on Jan. 17 she said she wanted to sit in. I was delighted, she came, and her criticism was truthful and spot-on. I was so impressed with her insight. Then and there I decided she would be invited to all my playreadings. How could I have known she would be gone by the coming weekend. Friends of Sharon's quality are so rare.

I received some photos of Sharon, yesterday from Flo Selfman. Here she is at the IWOSC board installation in August 2005.

Flo, Laura, Alice, Jon, Ray, Sharon and Michele.

From Susan Carrier, Past IWOSC President:

Flo Selfman used the words "generosity in spirit," and I can't think of more perfect words to describe Sharon. When I found out she was living in La Jolla a year ago, I called to recruit her for a temporary, non-writing project. At the time, she was working more than full time, but suggested that I call a mutual friend who was having trouble making ends meet. "She'd be great, but she lives on the west side of town. We need someone who lives in the San Diego area," I protested. Sharon countered, "No problem. She can sleep on my couch and eat out of my refrigerator for as long as she wants."

That was pure Sharon - if she couldn't help you, she always found someone who could, even if that meant sacrificing a couch and food. But I guess that's the difference between Sharon and most other people - I would have considered it a "sacrifice" to relinquish my couch for ! the summer, but Sharon found the prospect of helping two friends pure joy.

And it was pure joy to be around Sharon. As many have already pointed out, she was humorous, optimistic, caring and talented. I'll never forget her and will strive to be more like her.

Sharon under IWOSC umbrella at UCLA Extension Writers Fair, 9/05. Photo: Flo Selfman

From Travis Pike, Chairman and Managing Director, New Playwrights Foundation:

Life is full of broken promises. Death makes but one and keeps it. Sharon Gilbert, Secretary of IWOSC (Independent Writers of Southern California) and member of the Alameda Writers Group and the New Playwrights Foundation, is dead at age 57.

She was a brilliant pianist, a trained singer and, as many of us well know, an excellent script analyst. She had been a reader for various producers affiliated with major production companies here in Los Angeles and until recently, attended New Playwrights Foundation Workshops where she not only critiqued scripts for our members, but frequently followed up, encouraging individual writers and offering suggestions to improve their works. She will be missed.

I understand that Travis Pike said some wonderful things about Sharon at the Saturday AWG meeting.

I found an address data file and sent e-mails to the people who looked like they were friends.

We have not been able to figure out the name/address etc. of the best friend in North Carolina (Anne?) or the couple she went to visit in Northern California for Christmas 2005.

Unfortunatley, I did not find any WP files for current writing projects. If anyone knows anything about these things please let me know.

e-mail I received on Saturday:

Dear Lynn,

I am writing to you with tears rolling down my cheek as I read this email.

Please know that I am so saddened to hear of Sharon's passing. She was one of the funniest, wisest people I ever knew.

I met Sharon over twenty years ago when I was a visiting student at UCLA. When we found out that we were both from Brooklyn and went to Brooklyn college we bonded very quickly and became very good friends. I even shared an apartment with her for a while when I was in Los Angeles.

The last time I spoke to Sharon was around September 11th 2001 when she called to make sure I was ok in New York City. After that she moved around a bit and I didn't always know her whereabouts in Northern California and Washington. Only recently (via Google) I found her phone number listed on a Writer's Group in Los Angeles and was meaning to get in touch with her. Now I will always regret that I didn't sooner.

I think it is absolutely wonderful what you are doing for Sharon. She and I were both only children and I know how she valued her friends.

Please let me know if you are doing any type of memorial for Sharon that I can contribute to.

With great sadness,

Michelle Band
New York, NY

Please note: Michelle also left a comment on the previous post.
The comments need to clicked on in order to read them.

Brian Mc Carthy will be talking about Sharon today at the AWG meeting at the Glendate library.

I will be at a dance competition all day, when I come back, I will post your comments.

I spent the day with Sharon's cousin Shana at Sharon's house.

It was not a pretty sight inside the house where her body was found. I prefer to focus on the wonderful things about Sharon:

How much she loved art, music and writing.
How beautifully she sang and played the piano.
How she loved us and wanted us to succeed.

We found this beautiful painting her mother did of her:

Exterior: Frazier Park Writer's House- DAY
Shana being wonderful and taking care if business.
She is enjoying her cleaning tools and wardrobe:

The wind is beautiful and the air is clear, as demonstrated by its billowing affect on trash bags:

The house is adorable.

From Tinker Lindsay:

Flo called me yesterday with the news of Sharon's death, and I was, and am, saddened by it.
A few years ago, a small group of us IWOSCans - all female, all in the "mid" range of life - started to meet as an offshoot of an IWOSC "Branding" seminar. Sharon joined us, and her humor and energy were palpable and inspiring.
At one point, we explored the notion of starting a website together, a kind of writer's emporium. When someone raised the question of whether or not we should include our pictures, Sharon piped up," Of course! Five beautiful women like us? Who wouldn't want to work with us!"
My recently divorced and struggling self looked over at her, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, brimming with confidence and delight, and thought,"Yeah! That's right! Who wouldn't want to work with us, with me!"
Thanks Sharon. I'm sure your ebullience is inspiring whatever souls you are now touching to reinvent themselves as beautiful, talented and worthwhile.

Sharon!
I'm going to miss you.
Sharp wit and big heart.
Delicacy and deft touch.
Great taste.
Great friend.
I keep remembering your musical bust! Was it Beethoven or Chopin? His face always seemed to change depending on your mood. I see his face in my mind and it's peaceful.
Love,
Oliver Mayer

I met Sharon over a year ago when we both had auto maintenance appointments at Jim's Automotive. I purchased her breakfast in exchange for a free coaching session. Needless to say, she recommended I join IWOSC or the Alameda Writers Group. I did join IWOSC at the "Festival of Books" and lo and behold, I started to attend meetings. Every time I attended one meeting or another, I found Sharon. We instantly connected and a friendship blossomed. In the brief year I have known her, we became attached to the hip at all IWOSC meetings. I remember reading Tarot cards for her. The subject of her potential home purchase (Frasier Park) came up and I told her, "The only drawback to this purchase will be a long commute." As was my habit, I said, "Are you sure you want to live there because you will be on the road a lot and your little Honda will be visiting Jim--more often." She decided to buy the home. She loved it!

The last communication I had from her was on January 17th. She apologized for not being able to participate in my Tarot class at SMCC. She emailed me that she waited until the last minute; she was stressed and did not want to put her job in jeopardy. I told her, "Work comes first. I totally understand and I'm not upset." I believe she always worried about not being there for people she liked.

We shared a bit about our lives, and we discovered we were kindred spirits--we had so much in common. She joked about how we were attending all these meetings on writing when we should have been writing.

I know that her life was complete. She accomplished what she was put on this earth do to. She brought writers together and shared her passion for the written word! She had a home she loved, wonderful friends and associates who appreciated her, and she had many plans for the future. She was a gift. I can hear her voice as I write these words. She will always be with us.

--Davida Rappaport

From Roy Reyes, Senior Recruiter @ Tek Systems:

I heard the news on Sunday, Jan. 29, 2006 at 10:15 A..M. from my manager, Devon. I am deeply saddened to hear about Sharon. I recruited Sharon for a technical writer position at FOX. She was an exceptional person as well as a great writer. We will miss her dearly.
Thanks for all the “lunch dates’” Sharon. You will be missed!!!

I'm going to Frazier Park today to help Sharon's cousin Shana. Apparently the funeral director has read all of Sharon's novels on her notebook computer. He said that they were great. Just think of how Sharon is improving the literary lives of those who deal with her even after her passing!

From Irwin Zucker, Founder, President Emeritus, Book Publicists of So. Calif.----

We are saddened to learn of the passing of a longtime member of our organization. Sharon was a gifted writing talent who also had the art of making friends-- always greeting everyone with a smile

.

From fellow IWOSCan Robin Quinn:

How shocking and sad to hear about Sharon. I didn't know Sharon well, but chatted with her a few times at different events. She was a familiar face in the crowd, and someone who seemed to have a lot going for her. I liked her energy and spark.

I'm sorry to hear about this news... and hope it inspires us to appreciate our living more and all the wonders of being here.

I wish her soul peace, and send my sympathy and heart-felt regret to those who were closer to Sharon.

From Roberta Edgar:

Sharon Gilbert was one of the smartest, most talented, and generous women I've ever met. She lived to be of service to others, and because of her expertise in certain areas she was able to do so exceedingly well, and to the benefit of all those who knew her.

The last time I heard from her, about two weeks ago, her parting thoughts were concern for my well being.

It is interesting to learn of the website she was planning to construct--The Next Level. A couple of years ago, she and I were planning to create a website for our writing services. Her friend, Jess, had suggested using a design of a high-rise building with an exterior elevator that takes the visitor to a different service on each succeeding level.

One way or another, Sharon has reached her highest level, and it is safe to say she will be finding new ways up there to put her knowledge and humanity to good use.

Wherever you are, Sharon, know you are loved and missed.

From Dave Zobel:

Sharon was so sweet, and such a great optimist. I’m lucky to have known her, even for such a short time.

I just talked to Sharon's cousin Shana, we really haven't figured out the cause of death.

They are looking for the will, if anyone knows where it is please contact me.

I also will be taking care of her writing when we located it.

Yes Sharon was loved, this is what Marc Cushman, former President of AWG had to say,

Sharon was kind and generous beyond belief, to me, my writing partner, Sue, and so many others at AWG. She gave fantastic script notes. She loved writing, and supporting writers, and was quick to help when she spotted material that she felt was special. I was stunned by the news and will be sad for a long time to come. I hope Sharon knew how much she was appreciated, and how much impact she had on others.

Thursday Morning

Many of you have asked the cause of death, we are waiting to hear from the corner. Sharon's body was discovered on Friday, January 27, by her neighbor. The coroner contacted her work, and the temp agency gave the coroner Travis Pike as her emergency contact.

Travis said it appears that Sharon died probably on 1/20 or 1/21. Her boss had told her to take a few days off becuase of the cold in her eye and therefore he was not aware that there was a problem.

Last night, I remembered I recieved e-mails from Sharon a week previously that she had a terrible cold/flu and couldn't go to lunch. My personal guess is that she had pnuenomia but don't quote me on that...

According to IWOSC president Flo Selfman:

I spoke to Sharon on Friday morning. She called me at home to talk about a problem we're having with the board minutes (as you probably know, she was IWOSC secretary). We were on the phone for an hour or so, and then she said, "I could talk to you forever, but I have to get back to work." Sharon was at the IWOSC board meeting on Jan. 9, and I saw "Good Night and Good Luck" at Fox with her on Jan. 11. We were yakking in the cold afterward and would have talked longer but we were both tired and she needed to get on the road.

The Kern County Sheriff's dept. located three first cousins in Wash. State; they and their mother (whose husband was Sharon's mother's brother, so she's not a blood relative) seem to be Sharon's only relatives. I've been on the phone with her cousin Shana a few times at length; Shana is going down to Bakersfield and Frazier Park tomorrow and Friday.

Sharon told me quite a bit of information when I took her to Kaiser the last week in December. I'm seraching my database in my head to see how I can help.

At 6:20 pm this evening I was informed that Sharon Gilbert had died. I was in shock. Now I realize what Sharon would have loved more than anything is for us to write about her.

Sharon's last words to me were in a phone message to me, "I'm sorry I can't go for Chinese Muslim food, I've just been to Kaiser and they said I have a cold in my eye and it is contagious and I don't want you to get it."

That was left on my phone machine on the evening of Friday, January 20, 2006.

Obviously Kaiser, it was a lot more than a cold in her eye!

Sharon loved writing in all forms. She wanted to launch a Web site, "The Next Level" taking all writing to the next level. She is already at the next level of life so I think we should honor her by writing about her in a way that shows her genius.

Oh yeah she also was a stickler for grammar and punctuation, so do it right.

You can post any comment you like.

I'm so saddened by our great loss of a truly divine talent and one heck of singer.

If you have any trouble posting comments you may e-mail me. Lynn Walford at lw@freelancewriternow.com and I will post the comments for you.